This week, I read a local news story about Detective Bob Shilling. After a long and remarkable career with the Seattle Police Department, he was recently invited by Interpol, the most prestigious crime fighting organization in the world, to lead their Crimes Against Children Group. Now he is preparing to move to France after Thanksgiving to begin this new chapter in his life.
The interesting part of this story is that when Detective Shilling first began his career in the police department, he declared that he didn’t want to work sex crimes. While he never told anyone, his adamant opposition to working child abuse cases was because he had been sexually abused by his grandfather as a young child. His own mother witnessed the abuse happening and turned and walked out of the room, leaving him defenseless and alone as a young child.
The abuse of children is one of the most heinous crimes any of us can imagine. A child subjected to sexual or physical abuse is clearly a powerless victim at the mercy of a predator. Yet, for Detective Shilling the story does not end with the abuse. Contrary to his stated wishes, his career did ultimately focus on bringing abusers to justice and making certain that victims knew the abuse was not their fault. Today he is preparing to advocate for child victims internationally.
Reading about Detective Shilling made me reflect on the nature of personal tragedy. I was reminded of the many heroes, who have risen above trying circumstances, and then courageously face their fears to help others recover from similar hardships. The stories of people living with disabilities, losing a job and becoming homeless, losing a child to drunk driving, losing a breast to cancer, victims of rape or incest, and even survivors of crimes against humanity, often become stories of transformation. The survivors channel their pain and heartache into the very vehicle for serving others.
Although no rational being wants to experience tragedy or loss, being human means we will endure pain during our lifetime. However, as Detective Shiller discovered, within the suffering lies the key to healing. In the midst of our grief we are called to marshal personal strength and survive; and, as we move through the experience, the opportunity exists to discover a compelling compassion (or passion) for others along the way. In a way, this is part of our social evolution as a culture. As each person surviving a loss or hardship finds the wisdom and grace contained within the experience, we are able to help others to heal, too. Helen Keller said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.” It appears, for Detective Shilling, success will mean greater responsibility and helping even more children than before.
Byron, Linda, October 24, 2012, http://www.king5.com/news/local/Seattle-Detective-Bob-Shilling-Interpol-fight-global-sex-predators-175710391.html#
lahgitana
/ October 31, 2012“wisdom and grace…” to be hoped for during the Awfuls.
thank you for posting this story.
10000hourstobe
/ October 31, 2012You are welcome L. You are not alone in hoping to find wisdom and grace. I even hesitate writing about such lofty ideals, simply because I know I’m still on my path. I think character comes by facing each moment and accepting ourselves with loving kindness. Later, when we look in the rear view mirror, we find a changed person. With lots of love, your friend.
lahgitana
/ November 13, 2012Hi darlin’–ah, WP didn’t let me know you’d replied…. so sorry or I’da been here sooner!
Well said–that the rear view mirror shows the changed person, so until we get that view, we have to trudge along…. sometimes skipping, sometimes stumbling….
writeovertheedge
/ November 24, 2012Hi there! Thanks so much for visiting my blog and leaving such an interesting and inspiring comment about your mother. Let alone all the other amazing results – I had no idea varicose veins COULD go away! I shall look up that diet with interest.
I really enjoyed reading your post about Bob Shilling too. I so agree – it is, sadly, generally the hardships in life that are character forming. I have always noted with interest that a huge proportion of very successful, or inspired artists, writers, performers etc have had lousy childhoods. It’s as if the harshness of their experiences have refined everything within them down to a rare, wonderful, essential essence.
http://lorely-writingfromtheedge.blogspot.ie/
(PS I use another blog name to comment on WordPress sites, as Blogger comments usually get binned by WordPress!)