Nearly 30 years ago, I was a young, stay-at-home mother of 2-year old twins. One day, while reading a thoroughly unremarkable book, I experienced a life-altering flash of insight. Honestly, I don’t even know the name of the book. What I do remember is that the main character seemed happy and content. It was the character’s ability to find pleasure in small things and savor the moment that struck me as sensual and attractive. I realized that the same was true for me—I needed nothing outside myself to be happy. Happiness had always been inside me, regardless of my circumstance.
Having suffered with depression as a teenager and young adult, the knowledge that happiness was inside, just waiting for me to let it loose, seemed momentous. In retrospect, I recognize this awareness came at a crucial time in my life. In less than a week, I would face one of my greatest challenges. Six months later I was divorced, living with my twin babies in a small apartment, and making ends meet with the assistance of public welfare. Even in the midst of resentment, fear and grief, I could still feel that happiness lay just below the surface, ready and waiting to bloom.
Since that day, I’ve had other irresistible moments of magical inspiration that have surprised and delighted me. When these unbidden thoughts arrive, they have a way of guiding me toward personal transformation. These gifts of divine revelation change and deepen my spiritual awareness. In the example above, the message came at the right time to help me weather the loss of a marriage and the challenge of raising young children alone. In another, similar experience, the word “imagination” was the gift that revealed my creative, artistic impulse. This insight has allowed to me to discover the creative energy I never knew I possessed. More importantly, I have come to understand that creativity is the spark in every human being.
More than ever, I know that life is a fluid dance; a unique, joyful experience to be savored. Despite the fact we go through times of doubt, fear and grief; when we embrace change, expand our minds, and love others our lives become pure adventure.
I write these musings, not because I’m a great writer, well-educated, or famous; but, because I want to be in conversation with others who sense that spiritual optimism is a healing force.
With love and affection,
Dorcas
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